Swearing in Class

We're sitting in our favorite part of the classroom, the colorful carpet in the front of the room. Everyone is sitting in a circle because its reading, and circles are more fun. We all have our legs stretched out just because i feel like mixing things up, normally its criss cross applesauce, but i'm feeling a little nice today.

i've allowed things to get a little out of control, but now i have decided to pull things together in case someone walks in and i get caught teaching them lyrics from, "Lion King" purely for my own amusement. i'm trying to calm everyone down by counting to 5 and allowing them to relax, but it is not working. so i begin the threats, "if its not quiet in 7 seconds, no one will be allowed to dream tonight!!" still nothing, they don't need dreams! time to try something else, "the next voice i hear will not be any taller than they are now!" this one works, and in 2 seconds, all voices are silent...except one...the one who has not been able to keep his mouth closed all day!! finally i kirk out, "DUDE! I swear to GOD, if you don't be quiet i'm gonna feed you to the middle schoolers...get it together!!" and thats when a hush came over the crowd.

"You can't say God!" yelled A.M

"Yes I can, GodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGodGod. See!" i maturally said.

"No, she means you can't say God's name and not mean it, you can't swear to God, its in the Bible," said B.L.

"Yeah, you can't use God's name in cursive, you have to want something if you're gonna say his name," chimed in J.P. (seriously, i can't make this stuff up, he may have meant vain but who knows!)

"I wasn't using God's name in cursive, i meant it. its a promise, if T.W. doesn't get quiet, i promise both he and God that i will put him on 2 slices of bread and feed him to a middle schooler," i replied.

"Ms. Wallace, just to be safe, you're supposed to say, i swear to butter beans, so then you won't use God's name in cursive," advised S.E.

"Thank you S.E., and my soul thanks you. Now lets get quiet or i swear to butter beans i will see each and every one of you in the second grade next year!" Lesson learned!